Northern Exposure, Day Two: What Just Happened?

Listen up kids because fatigue has started to set in and this blog is going to be a short one. We've hit day two of our Canadian adventure and anything that is experienced from here on out has to be verified by at least two other credible sources before it can be labeled as fact. I don't know if you understand but it's 6:30 in the morning and I'm in the hotel lobby typing away. Some would call this dedication to the readers. Others would call it extreme drunkenness. I would side with the latter. Either way, I'm seeing three different screens and you damn well better appreciate this.

The day began quite lazily. Thirteen slacking college students laying about in a hotel room is not exactly what many would call a wild time. However, right around 3 pm when people started coming alive, taking showers, telling stories from the night before, and drinking whatever beer was left in the fridge is when things started to seem worthwhile. People were running around in towels, slapping asses, demanding that cheap bottles of wine be passed to them. Things were taking a turn for the better and nobody could explain why. I guess we all just simultaneously came to the realization that we were on Spring Break and anytime spent not drinking is time wasted.

So we met Mike Repasky, the man who started the Coconuts craze, and allowed him to grace us with his presence...which only added to the hooplah. Dinner followed at Windsor's own Tunnel Bar-B-Q and our full bellies returned to the hotel for a quick drink and what we all thought would be an immediate jump onto the nightlife train. However, what we found were a bunch of tired people and "Dog the Bounty Hunter" on A&E. I'd call it a push. In this particular episode, Dog was after a man he had been chasing for 3 years. Any man that can evade Dog Chapman for 3 years is probably some sort of mutant/animal hybrid and should be working for the CIA. Needless to say, I was watching.

Eventually, however, we made our way onto the drunken shuttle and once again met up with the kids from Cincinnati who lived down the hall. The only difference was that between the last time I blogged and right now we've all discovered that those kids are Uber Creepy and shouldn't be talked to. This trip on the bus was less "rah rah" and more "maybe he doesn't remember us."

Upon our dropoff point in downtown Windsor we hustled to a little place that those in the biz like to call Rush. Apparently it was supposed to hold a hot body contest and the winner was to be awarded $200. I thought this was an amazing opportunity for the girls in the group to get to work and help Vince make the money back he had lost when his wallet was misplaced in the strip club the previous night. Apparently no one of the female persuasion felt the same way. Vince is the real loser here.

After sustaining a legitimate anxiety attack in Rush, thanks to the flashing lights and pounding music, we made our way out and aboot, (Canadian for 'about',) and headed towards the Casino.

Small problem. East and I succeeded in somehow getting lost along the way. Stumbling into a local restaurant called "Peppers," East and I decided to take advantage of the 12 cent wing night. Don't be fooled however, as one must purchase a $6 beer to take part in this amazing deal. Being the high-rollers we are, East and I decide that this will be no problem. Upon examining our wallets we determined that is was, in fact, going to be a problem. Sitting right beside the emergency exit, both of us immediately thought the same thing.

So East checked out the exit and I just acted like everything was cool. Upon his arrival I gave one last look around and decided that we were clear. It was at this point that we were gone. Running six blocks down a street we didn't even knew existed, we laughed and limped our way to Casino Windsor in an attempt to win the back the money we had spent on beer, food, and other pleasantries that day.

Unfortunately, I didn't have the same luck I did the night before. I hung in for a while at a table with Jason, Josh, and East but soon lost $50 Canadian. According to my calculations, however, that works out to about 47 cents American. So I think we're gonna be fine.

Also seen at this table were a couple whose job was apparently to gamble and tell other people how to do so. When we declined their advice they seemed to be slightly offended. After Jason hit on something like a 17, (lots of beer was involved,) the couple stood up in disgust and told us to come back to play when we grew up.

Ironically, they were in their thirties and still seemed to be frequenting second rate casinos. The irony that was inherent in this statement led me to laugh for what seemed like days. Of course, during this time I had lost all my money and decided it was time to walk home.

Upon coming back to the hotel, Repasky and I found a couple of kids from Illinois who expressed interest in playing Casa Fiesta. If you don't know what Casa is you just have to ask me or wair until it gets its own column, because I refuse to half-ass the explanation of this amazing game.

However, halfway though the game the subject of WWF came up and we started quizzing one another on obscure wrestlers and their finishing moves. Team Illinois was able to take the match against Rep and I, by the score of 10 to 6. It wasn't even as close as that score seemed. They started feeling sorry for us and tossed up some softballs. A pity, really.

The only thing I remember after that is me coming down here with the computer and grabbing a bagel. The middle part is a little hazy. It's time I got to bed now. The lobby in this place is quite cheesy and the weather channel just announced that the winter storm warning assigned to central Indiana has now been cancelled. Someone has to spread the word.

Talk to you tomorrow, but until then...keep your stick on the ice.