Fuck the dog, Jason. I'm thinking 'Mini-Cow.'

Earlier this summer my housemate Jason persuaded our landlord to let him have a small, trained dog and it was to be named Bocephus. Well now I'm going to urge him to reconsider his request.

There are miniature cattle being bred as pets. This would be such a cool thing in our lives.

One, nobody else would have one. Two, you could get drunk and ride it uptown. Three, great prop for Halloween. And four, cows are sweet.

At the moment, we have a yard that is around 40 square feet. If we get the cow, (it would still be named Bocephus,) that small patch of grass would be renamed The Pasture. We could throw cowboy themed parties and let the cow in the house. We would probably even get our picture in the paper.

In fact, the only thing that would have a chance at trumping a miniature cow would be a penguin. Because goddamnit, those things are fucking adorable. I said it, and I meant it.

Moo-ve over, Fido: Minicows popular pets (Contra Coast Times)