Bats, burritos, and automobiles

This Wedneday started innocently enough, with a line that wrapped around Southgate Pkwy waiting to appear in court this morning.

Once all of them were hastily ushered in like cattle, a new problem presented itself. There was a bat nestled inside the window in the men's restroom. Enter Jess with a nightstick and a piece of cardboard that served as a shield. Trying to intimidate the gnarly beast from its perch, I began to rattle around it with the night stick. This only angered it and it began to bare its teeth at me.

Now this bat was about the size of a mouse, but I don't fuck with teeth.

Timidly shaking my stick at the animal, I began to see that I wasn't doing much damage. I felt as though it felt my insecurity and was now mocking me. I also couldn't believe I was accusing a flying rodent of sophisticated mockery.

Eventually a co-worker picked up another piece of cardboard and shoved the bat through a crack in the window the same way the alien in the fourth Alien movie is sucked into oblivion through a tiny hole in the cargo door.

Wow, what a nerd.

After this brave showing of heroism, I was taken out to a lunch that included the always delicious Tlaquepaque and one of those crazy cool milkshakes from Sheetz. (Sorry, Uncle Doug.)

Normally that would be enough to make me a content man. I'm very easy to please. However, this day has even more in store. I get to drive a box truck down to Athens to move in a large chunk of my stuff. A bed, desk, roll of carpet, desk chair, recliner, couch and futon will all be gracing my new digs on 68 Stewart St. I'm very excited because that means it's almost time for me to do nothing but go to a few classes, do some writing, sit on my ass, and drink some beer.

As college students, we oftentimes completely underestimate how cool our lives really are.

Just so you learn something that might be a little more interesting than how I wasted 8 hours of my life today, high ranking members of the State Department have been scheduling meetings with Tom Cruise and several Scientology leaders.

I haven't made any secrets about my feelings on Scientology and I honestly hope that the only reason we're adknowledging their existance is to talk them into relocating their headquarters to Lebanon.

Like, permanently.

Armitage meets with Tom Cruise (Eschaton)
Strength in Numbers: The Recruitment Tactics of Scientology (Skip St. Croix)