Season openers OR Why I'll be completely useless until February

Today marks the start of high school football in Ohio.

This may not mean much to the average citizen, but to me it marks the true beginning of the year. I don't start truly living until the end of August. High school football means one week until college football. College football means one week until professional football. When all three are working in sequence...life has never been better.

My alma mater Cambridge takes on Philo this evening and the Bobcats should win in a laugher. However, that doesn't curb my enthusiasm for the season opener. You see, since June there's been nothing to obsess about other than half-meaningless baseball games and the World Basketball Championships. This period, otherwise known as suicide watch, is almost unbearable for many sports fans.

That's why I'm excited to watch live football, high school or otherwise.

Football is the greatest game in America. (Cue John Facenda voice.) It represents the soul of this nation. Grit, intelligence, and swagger all come together to form a melting pot of everything we stand for a country. The game teaches family, trust, work ethic, and love. It's my belief that everyone should be required to either play football or serve in the military.

Given, my lofty view of the game is above the norm, but one can't deny America's infatuation with football. Millions of dollars are waged on its contest's outcomes, couples plan weddings around its biggest events, it makes little boys cheer and grown men cry. There is nothing better than football in America.

Having said that, I now bring you my predictions for the upcoming season, at all levels.

High School

I'll only be picking Ohio's Division III as there are hundreds of high school teams out there and, despite the first few graphs of this post, I do have a life. My pick for D-III state champion is Steubenville Big Red. Last year's champion, Steuby returns State Title Game MVP quarterback Zach Collaros and I don't think they've lost a regular season game since I was a Junior in high school.

College

As far as the NCAA goes, there is no real clear-cut pick. Therefore, I'm going with Ohio State. Already ranked number 1, the Bucks mettle will be tested early with a showdown in Austin with Texas. If they can survive the trip to the Lone Star state, I see no reason why they shouldn't go undefeated. When in the national championship game, Tressel's record in big games is stellar. Go Bucks.

NFL

Despite the fact that I commonly refer to my Cleveland Browns as "the best team in football," I feel inclined to pick someone else this year. The addition of Al Saunders on the Redskins staff makes them my pick out of the NFC, assuming that Clinton Portis produces to his usual standards. Out of the AFC I'll be taking the Colts as I finally think that this is their year despite losing Edgerrin James. Two words: Adam. Vinatieri. Colts win Superbowl XLI.

Of course, at least two of those predictions will be wrong. The only thing we know for certain is that the Browns are the best team in football.